Domestic Engineers

I love when I am reading over resumes, and I see the title "Domestic Engineer" for the "Asswipe family"... you are a mom and a wife, not a domestic engineer. While I am not underestimating the workload of a mother, it is not a job title, and your family is not a damn employer. Do I put that I am an Accounts Receivable/ Accounts Payable Associate for my family because I open the bills and pay them? What about the Culinary Professional of the family that cooks boxed pot pies every night?

Get over it, you self important twit. Until your family starts paying you for being a wife/ mom, it does not go on a resume as a "domestic engineer", or whatever other bullshit title you want to call yourself.

Don't Assume I Am Like You

It really bugs the shit out of me sometimes when I speak to people. Working in customer service, and being generally amiable, I talk to people a lot. So when I talk to people in person, or sometimes after being on the phone with them for a while, the person feels they "know me" well enough to discuss things they wouldn't feel comfortable discussing with others (read: other races, other genders, etc).
This unfortunatley can(and has too often) lead to bad jokes. If I can get one thing across to customers, it would be:
Do not assume that since we are now so "cool" with each other that I would appreciate any of the following:

• the latest anti-Muslim joke about Obama,
• using nuclear weapons on any location in the Middle East,
• That joke you heard on Rush Limbaugh's show about homeless people or those on welfare,
• the problem with Mexicans (in your uneducated opinion),
• What your neighbor, whom you generously identified to me as being 'black' said to his wife the other day, and finally,
• Why you support our troops and America and god and baby jesus and mary and the angels, your church, your bible quote, etc.
  

Why don't I want to hear it?

Because I really don't care. You DON'T know me, and I DO NOT think like you. Your Assumption is Rude.
Fuck you.

Thanks, and have a great day! : )

It's Monday

And Monday's are always good for the kick off the week staff meeting. Here in my little corner of the world, that means we get to hear the salespeople talk about what jobs they have for us to work, what jobs they think will close, and generally where things stand. Pretty typical stuff for a recruiting firm, although it's generally no new information, and we are bored to tears in the first 3 minutes.

The trouble with salespeople is that they are always trying to sell you something, They will polish that turd so finely you can see yourself in it, it's their job. However, salespeople often have a different sense of reality about what they are selling than a normal individual. This is especially true when salesperson has no real experience actually trying to find the person he or she needs to fill his or her particular job. Say Stony the salesguy calls company G. Company G says they have an immediate need for an Integration Engineer. Salesperson is freaking pumped now!

Little does he understand that Company G has been looking for this person for 14 months, and that is why the need is immediate. Why 14 months? Because their plant is about 93 miles from anywhere with a semblance of civilization, they are paying about 25K below market demand, and they are looking for someone with exactly 12.3 years of experience using software that came out 10 years ago.

However, salesperson Stony does not know that, and does not want to hear it. Stonmy insists that because the economy is down, and people are laid off, there must be hundreds of people out there that fit this bill. We are just not working hard enough to find these. Yeah, about that..

Shopping

Inconsiderate shoppers suck.

When I am shopping, I have an agenda.
It does not include waiting behind the Snail Parade while the ass in front of me compares prices of discount Kool-Aid. Move your overstuffed cart of Cheetos and Twinkies to the side and let me through. Do not park your cart in the middle of the aisle and block traffic. You are not that important, and neither is the junk food you are buying.
If you are looking at products, do not leave your cart and walkover to the spot in the aisle and look around, you are now blocking 2 spots instead of one. Know what you want, get in the door, buy it, and get out.

I got shit to do.

Sans fury - to amuse with a little ick.

I'm pissed (not completely because it was kinda funny) because my man just farted and I had to eat it. This isn't the first time, and I'll leave out the bit on frequency.

My Shit's Fucked Up

Here's a beer to the jackass landlord that currently owns the home we are leasing to own. This peach of a cum bubble decided that his investment company was failing, so whoops, he has to liquidate his property. Good for him, because homes are selling like fucking lemonade in July around here, dontcha know. As a matter of fact, there is a brand new home just down the street that has been vacant since it was built over a year ago. but hey, a guy's gotta' do what a guy's gotta' do.

And bless his little heart, the guy gave us first right of refusal to buy the house. This would be a fucking outstanding option if we didn't have to declare bankruptcy a year ago due to a big round tub of pile on medical issues causing unemployment and mile high medical bills. So we gave up our mortgage and started fresh in a lease to own situation... great house, good schools, moved the kids... a veritable candy land. Silly us, we got to thinking that this is going to be our place for a while, we went ahead and painted it, got comfy and cozy, and decided to make ourselves at fucking home, thinking that we would rebuild the shot credit over the next few years, and set ourselves up nice to buy it once the lease option was up.

But no, one year later, we get a letter from this syphillitic jackball saying that we need to call the realtor to come view the house so she can establish a price point. Really dicklick? Do you honestly expect me to ring up my local realtor to blow us out of here as soon as possible. Aforementioned cunt infection also did not mention any timetable on us having to vacate, any mention of us getting our security deposit back, or any means to contact his happy ass to ask any questions.

So now I get to spend my weekend calling the property management company that services the house for Mr. Asshair to see what our options are, what he has planned, and what the hell we need to do from here. I am also going through the wondrous process of trying to finagle a mortgage from a bank less than one year after a bankruptcy discharge, and possibly looking at how the fuck I am going to keep my kids in the same school district for another few months. Good fucking times right now.

Customer Service

Please let me tell you something.

Customer service representatives come in all shapes and sizes, and in varying degrees of competency. This works both ways: some are not fit for the position, and find out the hard way, some are good at what they do.

To customers who are serviced by CSRs:

You do not necessarily know how to do our jobs better than we do, please do not assume that you do.

You think you have problems? Try dealing with 1000 identical idiots with problems just like yours all day long.

As a common courtesy: do not interrupt while I'm talking. I have an agenda, I have things to tell you that I am professionally graded on. It does not matter if you think you know where I am going with my information- so do not fucking interrupt me.

If you do not want to communicate with us as CSRs, then do not communicate with us: either do not call us for help, do not call us with questions, or do not answer your fucking phone when we call. The cynicism breeding within us makes us favor speaking to your machines over speaking with you.

Humor is almost always welcome. Do not overdo it.

If you are not 100% sure you know what you are talking about, do not talk about it. The ignorance CSRs deal with throughout the day makes our brains hurt when we hear the asinine things idiots say to us.

Everything is recorded everywhere. Most businesses dealing with customers via phone lines have caller id. Do not tell us you have nver called us- we know if you are lying.

Everyone has bad days. Everyone makes mistakes- you and us. If we screw up, we should tell you and apologize accordingly. You should do the same.

We are not whipping boys on whipping posts for you to take out frustrations on unfairly. Your kids are whining bastards. Traffic made your gas-guzzling SUV drain out antifreeze. Your boss sucks. We did not do this to you. Don't be assholes to us about it. Period.

You want to complain?
get in line.
sign on to this blogspot and start bitching.
don't ruin our day- it's shitty enough.

Have a Nice Day. Thanks for Shopping With Us.

Introductory

I'm a person who likes to get shit off of my chest when I'm pissed off. Some call it ranting, some call it bitching, some call it moaning, some call it therapy, whatever. I frankly don't give a white rat's ass about what you want to call it. It needs to be said. So I started this place to preserve a little of my own sanity by getting things out on here. If you want to do the same, feel free, but follow the rules. Send me a message or an email, and I'll send you an invite. Then you can get whatever you have to say out without being judged.

You may have noticed on the way in that there is an adult content warning. This does not mean that you will see naked co-eds here, sorry to disappoint your pervy ass. It means that there are no language barriers or subject barriers. You've been warned, so if your nosey kids gets on here and asks what a "cum filled, oozing pile of infected dog shit" is, don't come crying to me.

Right now, I'm limited to rationing this pleasure out to 100 writers, but eventually I would like it to be a pretty open site where anyone can check in and spout off. Maybe earn enough cash doing it so we can give a "Rant of the Week" t-shirt out. Any suggestions on how to make this happen would be much appreciated, I'm not exactly web design savvy. If you know of anyone who would be a welcome addition to Go Rant Now, give me their email, and I will invite them.